deepest of the deep

Amazing how you see me through and read me like a book on a shelf.

Guilt keeps me from chosing wisely by heart. When I say that I hurt him, it’ll have me feeling guilty each and everytime and he knows it. I might have the courage to listen to my heart, but I don’t want it to end that way because I care too much for him. I care too much about his emotions and put it before my own self worthiness. Which turns into a dangerous game when the other person knows it.

It’s just strange that I’m not that person anymore, so there’s no easy way of breakin the news to him that I want to be a different woman. But I also know that I can’t live with that regret for the rest of my life – just that I can’t jump that hurdle yet. Which is even more strange because isn’t your spouse supposed to be the person in your life with whom you can share the most deepest of the deep regardless?

There are no second chances, only one life to live.