still in

We have only come to find out that the judge, the DA, the court’s justice and everyone else involved are a bunch of liars. It’s getting to 9 months that they keep you on lock down, without a case and without a trial.

I get envious of couples on the street, pictures on Facebook and weepy at movies. I’m crossing a thin line between sanity and a surreal sense of unbearable craziness. I’m sure the kids feel it, no matter how hard I try to hide it. Luckily, there’s enough for them to be distracted with. As for me? Distraction is difficult, moments of peace and quiet are painful, yet no one knows except my mom. No one.

There are times I want to share my heartache, my anger, my lack of faith in this country and its system. But to what use? Human beings can only dissapoint you, use it against you or look at you in different ways. If only they knew, is all I think about. I’m still here, still doing my job, every one else are just losers and wimps. They bitch and whine about insignificant matters, which makes it harder for me to not get even more angry.

If only they knew.