lifted

All alone, yet I never felt so strong before.
I can feel the strength and creativity flow back into my vains.

No matter how much luggage I’m left with, I can solve it.
Because I am that woman.
I choose to be that woman.

What used to tie me down –
I’m letting go.
What I’ve carried on my shoulders –
I’m putting it down.

Exhale.
Open my eyes.
Smile at the world.

At last, I’ve reached my freedom.
Free.
To be me.

no more waiting

It’s a new year, a new start, a new chance in making things better. I’m gonna stop waiting and start doing, fulfil my needs, chase after my dreams, keep on trying til I get it right. There are some projects I wanna dive in to, so I will make a year plan and set the milestones. I need to take matters into my own hands and make sure I get to travel alot this year, if necessary by myself. I’m tired of waiting, just so tired.

love waits

It’s exactly 1.59 AM when I start writing this post. I’d like to believe that am really just a night owl, like I’ve spent many nightly hours before I moved out of the house, spent behind the computer, inspired and creatively active. Maybe it’s just the coffee.

I was hoping to see a glimpse of him tonight, but the time difference sucks. I know he’s busy, pushing long hours on long days, he might be out, I don’t really know. I was just hoping, waiting.

Guilt free? I think not. But the longing, my oh my, the longing. Sometimes I wish I could just get a grip on myself. Stop the longing, start the waiting, let him long for me. But I know he is, that’s why I feel it. It’s the connection we have, that no one understands. Inexplicable, yes. Unbelievable? Yeah, that too.

My yawning gives away that I’m tired after all, guess it’s not the coffee. I know that as soon as I lay my head down, I’ll fall asleep. I hope it’ll whisk me away to our island, the place we meet where no one else can arrive, for us to be together and alone. I wonder though, how long we’ll keep this up. I wonder… how long love waits.

creativity from sadness

As I was reading her blog, I came across her “night sky” post. And I was just telling you that it’s crazy people feel alone in what they feel, when it’s really what every one goes through at different times in their lives.

Someone there commented by wondering how sadness brings forth creativity. You can reason about it all you want, but it’s really a gift from God. In happiness, we take things for granted. But when we lose it, we long and yearn about it to make sure we never forget that one feeling.

Call it sadist. Call it love. Call it inexplainable. Whatever it is, those who know, will know. Those who don’t, they will.