No one could ever understand what we have. Not even him. Right under his nose, my mind drifts off to places I want to see, explore, hear, smell and touch. But most of all, I’d like to explore you, open that window to see what our future could look like. Just you and me, living our life together. The details will work itself out, somehow, someway, like it always will.
But reality sets in too with each thought I work out in my mind. Inevitably. And it sticks out long enough to make me think that maybe what I have, might work out after all. Reality lets me experience those moments, those glimpses of who we used to be, together, as a family. It’s keeping me back from taking that leap into the unknown. Binding me down when I thought I had to break lose.
It’s a fine line between wishing what I could have, and wanting what I already got. Does that even make sense?