awakening

Is there such a thing as soulmates? What does it really mean?

All I know is, I felt a deep profound love for someone who gave me what I needed. Who gave me the feeling that I was special, who knew I’d give all I have and more just to make him happy. Just to show him how much I care about him, how much I believe in us, how no one could ever come in between the special relationship we were in. Just so I could prove I could care less about what other people had to say, how other people think about us, how much I don’t care about the things we surround ourselves with.

My heart has been shattered to pieces, my tears have flooded oceans wide and there’s nothing I can do about it anymore.

I can’t hold back the tears anymore, because our son is the ultimate reflection of what we had, what we used to feel, a mirror to the love that once was. He was born under dire circumstances, but conceived in the absolute belief of a connection so strong – at a special place and time. I still remember how I felt that night and I knew a child would be born as a gift for the struggles we had faced up to that very moment – God heard our prayers and blessed us with the most beautiful gift given unto man.

I can’t deny who you are, or should I say, who you were. I can’t deny the significant role you played from the moment you came into my life and I owe you so much of my life’s experiences. These experiences, these moments in time, they have made me who I am today. When I look back, I see so much that my peers are yet to face in life, so much that most cannot begin to comprehend. I thank you for that, I thank God for pulling us through all these years but I also have to thank myself for finally realising that my awakening is here.

I might feel alone, I might seem strong, but all I can do – just like throughout the whole journey – is to turn to God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

In the name of God, the infinitely Compassionate and Merciful.
Praise be to God, Lord of all the worlds.
The Compassionate, the Merciful. Ruler on the Day of Reckoning.
You alone do we worship, and You alone do we ask for help.
Guide us on the straight path,
the path of those who have received your grace;
not the path of those who have brought down wrath, nor of those who wander astray.
Amen.

(Quran, Sura 1, Al-Fatiha)

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