liar, liar

Being with you, taught me how to lie – not to you, but everyone else. We were secretly in love, but you can’t fool those who know you better than yourself. We went on in denial, taking it day by day. Yet each step on the way, it drew me in closer, blurred my eyesight a lil more, deteriorated my rational judgment, but it grew my love for you bigger and bigger.

Most women would reconsider. Most women would pack up and leave. Most women would not look back, but regret and reminisce later.

Unfortunately, I’m not most women. I stood by your side, no matter what. I didn’t listen when I should’ve heeded mom’s hidden advices. It was you and me, me and you – no one could understand. Together alone, the two of us against the world.

That’s how we learned that friends don’t really act like friends. And enemies always have two faces, of which you don’t know which one is the real side. It’s how we learned that we could only trust each other, even when they tried to come in between with their sneaky ways.

However.

Today, we are far from those days. The walls are back up, the lies have started to come in. We… tolerate. We accept each other. But I feel trapped. I don’t blame you anymore – how could you if I don’t even know who I am?

I maintain what you and I used to know. Fulfilling my role because it’s supposed to be the right thing to do. So I lie, the condoned lies. Because the lies are the only way to hold on to what we used to have.

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