the thing about you

Often I wonder, what is it about you? What makes us connect the way we do? What is it about you that I can’t get from anyone else?

Maybe it’s what you represent, you represent what I could’ve been doing, who I could’ve become – if it were a different time and place. You know I admire you, because you do what you feel is right without comprimising. And perhaps that’s where I’m different today, because I had to compromise for the sake of being in a relationship of unconditional love. Or for the sake of taming my young womanhood.

I remember when you said that he wouldn’t even like who I would become, if I were to do what I wanna do or if I were to be with you. I think you’re right, and it makes me sad. It makes me sad that I folded my cards too soon, that I’m making it harder on myself and him to turn things around. Change happens everyday, but the more I see that I’ve changed or long to change – the more I see that he hasn’t, at all.

It’s heartbreaking that I have to feed myself negative thoughts, just so I don’t go back and talk to you… again.

There are times I wish we did meet on the physical realm, because I feel like it would make things easier – be it for better or worse. I just feel so stuck.

We’ve come to know each other in ways we never expected, never dared to imagine.

I’ve come to know you as an amazing man.
You are my homie, for life.
You are…
You.

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