It feels as if the days have crept by. Every day is a new mixed cocktail of emotions, frustrations, decisions, conclusions but no clear direction. It just seems like I didn’t take any turn at the crossroads, but made up my mind to keep going straight into a new third direction. And yet, I keep zigzagging back and forth on both paths I wanted to ignore in the first place. It’s useless to look back, to find out where I missed my turn, cuz I can’t turn back anymore. I can’t really see yet what it is that awaits me ahead.
Silly things annoy me on the way, thoughts mess with my head and the many distractions slow me down – then make me run faster in whichever way I go. I need, I got to find out what’s really waiting for me.
(August 10, 2009)