young womanhood

Some will say I settled too soon, I was barely 17 when I met my husband. Looking at my colleague who is of my same age, I can clearly see the huge difference in mental state of mind. I was forced to grow up early, even though I had a great childhood. Looking back at it, I do see that my mom was very protective of me but also gave me a strong sense of my roots that are not entirely in the country that I was born and raised in. My puberty rebellion came late… and heavily. But halfway through I lost my hero, my dad. Soon after, I met my husband.

Sure, when I say it like that, conclusions can be easily made. Yes, he could have taken advantage of me, but he didn’t. Instead I went all for it, and pushed him to keep up with me. Even though I was the one who always said, lets take it day by day.

Going to college, living in dorm rooms, partying all night, getting drunk with fellow students were never a part of my life. Instead I started working and did school on the side through distance learning – just like my dad did. I stopped drinking alcohol around that time, but I never really did drink much. When you saw me clubbing with the girls – we were 15, 16 – I was always making sure we all went out together, and left together. I’d make sure they got on the bus, train and I’d take my cab ride home as the last one left.

I never was that girl. I grew into a woman, a wifey, always been a caretaker. So my young womanhood, I never experienced it. And now, I regret it – just a little bit. How would my life be if I hadn’t met my husband? How would my life look like if I didn’t settle down so soon?

My young womanhood. Lost, as life happened.

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