my aching head

Here I am, at work, blogging, sniffing and sneezing behind my desk, feeling my head aching more and more. Meanwhile, I can’t resist the temptation. The temptation to see him online, when I’m invisible. Thinking to myself, should I or shouldn’t I… say something?

I decided not to. How is it possible that I continue to feel this way? This strong attraction, the need to speak to him, the longing for his voice, to see his face. He’ll say it’s because we have this amazing connection in a special way.

How is it possible I’m so double-faced? It scares me that I can be this way. I can’t have both, but my mind keeps going back and forth.

It’s not fair, to him, to both, to myself. Then why do I keep doing this to myself?

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